Spending Valentine’s Day Solo
We’re never alone when we’re connecting with ourselves.
There is an indescribable amount of pressure to be coupled up this time of year that lingers in the background. While this pressure may never be outright, it’s a sinking feeling many of us know all too well. But, nobody has to feel bad about spending this holiday alone. As Michael Reid, also known as the poet JustMike, said, “You’re single because you know your worth and won’t take anything less than what you deserve.”
The stigma of being single, especially on a day traditionally dedicated to love shared between you and your partner, still exists today, but we have evolved to an era of “no more boyfriends.”
“We are living in a time where terms like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” have become more about possession than preparation and potential,” Reid told us. “The gray area of relationships; or the period between when you like someone enough to pursue them, to the decision to agree to do life together, has gone from being a thin line to a black hole that swallows many good people. My response to this has been “No More Boyfriends.”
This doesn’t mean we’ve sworn off dating or finding a partner, but instead gives us the power to focus less on the serial aspect of not being alone and shift our attention towards the natural journey of finding the right person instead. One who helps bring out our best parts.
“It is my desire, as well as my charge to everyone reading this, to slice a bigger piece of love and give it to yourself until you meet someone that’s able to appreciate how beautiful YOUR brand of love is, and is willing to put the work in to build on that for a future,” Reid said. “Until then, it should always be “No More Boyfriends”.
There’s beauty in being alone and power in connecting with yourself. rē•spin your traditional Valentine’s Day plans and take a few of these tips for a spin instead. Spend the day loving yourself, not just those around you.
Make room for self-love:
Make Valentine’s Day the day you put yourself and your needs first. Self-love is one of the most powerful tools we have. It isn’t just a simple state of mind when you’re feeling good, but rather a feeling of appreciation for yourself that grows over time. While self-care is one aspect of self-love, it also stems from living intentionally, protecting your energy, and setting boundaries, both in your platonic and romantic relationships.
Don’t get too caught up in feelings of loneliness. Whether you’re single this year or just can’t be with your partner, you’re not alone in your experience. Start your day by setting positive intentions when you wake up in the morning, whether it’s during meditation or while you settle into your day. You could even try journaling. Take some time to write down all of the things in your life you have to be grateful for. From friends and family to your health and belongings, counting your blessings can help put things in perspective.
Have a virtual hangout with friends:
There’s never a wrong time to connect with friends. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to. Get the group together for a virtual hangout session. Spend some time catching up on the inner-workings of your lives or watch a movie together as a group. The non-romantic relationships in your life enhance the way you connect to those around you, and even how you relate to yourself. Even if you’re alone in the physical sense, remember that there’s always a support system that will be there for you.
Let’s get physical:
Physical activity, that is. It’s a day dedicated to yourself, so why not work on strengthening your body. Pick a fitness practice that brings you joy, or maybe start a challenging activity you’ve always wanted to try. Aerial yoga, kickboxing, an extreme peloton bike class? It doesn’t matter what way you choose to move, just get those endorphins going!
Curate the day for you:
Take the day off from your weekend responsibilities and do the things that you enjoy the most. It’s a day to indulge in whatever way you see fit. If food is your vice, cook a new meal for one or order takeout from your favorite local restaurant. Try some mood-boosting foods like dark chocolate and berries. If sleeping in is your indulgence, forego setting an alarm and let your body catch up on some well-deserved sleep.
Do a digital detox:
While you’re taking a beat to focus on yourself, go the extra mile and take the day off from the internet. Truly disconnect and enjoy the moments that you are spending with yourself. The digital world will always be there waiting for you. Take a day to go completely offline and let the weight of the digital world fall off your shoulders. Embrace the freedom that comes with a digital detox and use that space to strengthen the relationship you have with yourself. It’s the most important one you will ever have.